Connecting through Cultural Heritage strengthens Stepfamilies

Our family recently celebrated the Norwegian Syttende Mai (Constitution Day) at the Salt Lake City Peace Gardens. Syttende Mai is a long-standing tradition for our family. My mother is Norwegian and for as long as I can remember we would all dress up in our Sunday best and attend gatherings were we enjoy traditional Norwegian food, music and dancing. I especially enjoyed (and still do!) seeing the men and women in their brightly colored Bunads (Norwegian National Costumes). Every region has a specific bunad with hand woven flowers and designs adorning the bodice and skirt of the women’s dress.  The men also look quite festive in their bright vests and ribbons. They are a beauty to behold.

When Geoff and I were dating (over 20 years ago! Where does the time go?), Syttende Mai was one of the first big outings we attended together with Geoffrey’s kids. I can still remember giving them piggyback rides in the parade as they proudly waved Norwegian flags. Since then, Geoff and I have attended almost every year without fail.  

Through the years, whoever was living with us at the time or visiting came to Syttende Mai.  We meet extended family members there as well.  We all relish in the Norwegian folk music and bright red, white and blue flags. We delight in every bite we take from a polser (Scandinavian hot-dog), savor the flavor of Solo on our tongues (Norwegian Soda Pop) and smack our lips after diving into a piece of marzipan cake. YUM!!! Every bite brings back happy memories. We laugh a lot and continue to make sweet memories as we march in the little parade around the park and enjoy other activities with our now adult children, young children and grandchildren.

The last three years we also embraced our Swedish roots by attending Midsommar and the Swedish Heritage Activities throughout the year. As a family we have started to learn more Swedish songs together.  I love looking around our family room as we sing traditional songs at Christmas and Easter.

As I look back on our experiences, our family is stronger and happier because we take time to bond through our shared cultures.

For stepfamilies looking to strengthen their relationships I strongly encourage you to find ways to connect through cultural activities. Join your local cultural group and dive in by supporting activities, choirs, processions, etc. Find cultural ways to decorate and have fun cooking and baking together. Remember, your family doesn’t necessarily have to have strong ties to a culture for you to adopt holidays, foods, dance or music. After our son passed away, we decided to embrace Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead – a holiday celebrated in Mexico). Every year we decorate our ‘ofrenda’ with pictures of our deceased loved ones and food they loved. I’m thankful this tradition ties us to our son and opens another door for our youngest daughters (who never met him in this life) to know and appreciate him through our stories and pictures.

Reflection Questions:

What cultural activities would benefit your family?

Is there a family recipe that would be fun to make with the kids or your spouse?

What cultural music can you introduce to your family?

What cultural music do you want to pass on to your kids?

Do you have a fun saying in a different language that could be meaningful to your family? (We love to say Uff Da!)

Are there cultural decorations you can make together?